rejection

so after all the excitement and hopefullness of getting into this show after seeing my photograph posted on the gallery's blog...I was not a winner (so, in other words...i'm a loser...i dont really think that...that's just literally what could be concluded). Anyway, this rejection shit is exhausting...especially when you pay people money to get rejected...that's even worse. o'well...hopefully it wont keep me from photographing (even though i haven't really done much of it in the last year and a half of my life anyway...i've got ideas and plans...you just wait)
i buy flowers from little bodega's all the time to put in the apt so that i can smile when i see them, but tonight someone bought some for me! I went to dinner with Steven and Anna (the wonderful girl he has been spending a lot of time with!) and tonight was the first time I met her and she bought me this bunch of beautiful dried cotton stems! It was so surprising and wonderful. Really made my day after overhearing a co-worker throw up today and then later casually talk about it as if it was no big deal...i mean, c'mon! Nasty! Really threw off my whole day (besides the whole rejection thing and then finding out after my i-pod's check-up appointment that it is completely dead and i lost all the music that was on it) Needless to say, unexpected plants make me happy again.
i think that i might be developing some weird obsessive compulsive behaviors...which i cant decide if it is funny or disturbing. I clean a lot, but not normal things...I scrub furniture or windows or try to clear our drains with baking soda and vinegar and today at work i cleaned my computer keyboard and mouse hoping that it would help me in my pursuit to not get the flu! I search ebay on a regular basis for stuff i want for my apt but mostly cannot afford, and last night i just decided to bid on a bunch of vintage clocks and ended up winning a few of them...so now i have a bunch of clocks!
don't ask...i dont know
~krystal